The Elegance Edit: Issue 25

Olga’s Note
Dear Ladies,

Welcome to Issue 25 of The Elegance Edit – your weekly guide to body language, elegance, and timeless style. Each edition offers thoughtful insights to help you feel more poised, confident, and graceful in every part of your life.

Valentine's Day is just around the corner, and whether you're in a committed relationship, casually dating, or contentedly single, this week we're exploring something that transcends romantic status: the art of self-love and the sophisticated approach to modern dating.

Digital Dating
Using Dating Apps as an Elegant Woman

A successful executive I work with recently confided something that surprised me. Despite her confidence in boardrooms and at networking events, she felt completely lost navigating dating apps. "I know how to present myself professionally," she said, "but this feels different. I don't want to seem desperate or overly available, but I also don't want to play games. Where's the line between being authentic and oversharing with strangers?"

Her question reveals something many accomplished women struggle with: how to bring the same intentionality and grace to digital dating that you bring to every other area of your life. Dating apps present a unique challenge.

Curating Your Profile

Your dating profile functions as your introduction – the digital equivalent of walking into a room. It should communicate something genuine about who you are without becoming an exhaustive autobiography or a performance of who you think others want you to be.

Hare enough that someone can get a sense of your personality, interests, and values, but not so much that there's nothing left to discover in conversation. Think of your profile as an invitation to dialogue rather than a complete resumé.

Your photos deserve particular attention because they carry enormous weight in these visual-first platforms. Choose images that genuinely represent how you look now, in contexts that reflect your actual life and interests. The goal isn't to present an impossibly polished version of yourself, but an authentic one.

Avoid the common mistakes: excessive filtering that creates unrealistic expectations, photos from five years ago that set up disappointing reveals, or only including heavily staged images that suggest high maintenance or inauthenticity. Include at least one clear, recent photo of your face and a mix of settings – both dressed up and casual – that give a realistic sense of who you are.

Your written bio should reflect your actual voice, not a generic template or a list of demands disguised as preferences. Specificity creates connection far more effectively than vague generalizations. "I'm passionate about travel" tells someone nothing. "I spent last summer learning to surf in Portugal and I'm planning a trip to Japan to explore textile museums" gives them something genuine to respond to.

The Initial Interaction

You're speaking with strangers who could become meaningful connections or could disappear entirely after three messages. This uncertainty shouldn't make you guarded to the point of coldness, but it should inform appropriate boundaries about what you share and when.

Respond to messages that demonstrate genuine interest and effort. A thoughtful question about something specific in your profile deserves engagement. Generic "hey" messages or immediate requests for your number suggest someone who's sending identical messages to dozens of women and deserve no response at all.

In your own communication, ask questions that reveal character and values rather than just collecting biographical data. Instead of "What do you do for work?" try "What made you decide to go into that field?" or "What are you working on right now that excites you?" These questions invite more meaningful responses and give you better information about whether this person aligns with what you're seeking.

Match the energy and investment level of the conversation without feeling obligated to respond instantly to every message. Taking time to craft thoughtful responses shows you're engaged and selective, not desperately available at all hours. The right person will appreciate your measured pace rather than being put off by it.

Knowing What To Share and When

In early messages, share enough to create connection while maintaining appropriate privacy. Your favorite neighborhood coffee shop? Fine. Your exact address? Absolutely not. Your general thoughts on family? Appropriate. Detailed accounts of your difficult relationship with your ex? Save that for much later, if at all.

Avoid the common pitfall of treating matches as free therapy or venting outlets. Processing your recent breakup, complaining about your job, or sharing health issues with someone you've never met creates inappropriate intimacy and suggests poor boundaries. These topics have their place in developing relationships, but not in initial digital exchanges with strangers.

Be particularly cautious about financial disclosure. Your profession is fair game, but specific salary information, details about your assets, or discussion of your financial situation invites the wrong kind of interest. Elegant women understand that authentic connection builds on shared values and genuine chemistry, not financial calculations.

Managing Multiple Conversations

The nature of dating apps means you'll likely be in conversation with multiple people simultaneously. This reality creates its own etiquette challenges about attention, honesty, and respect.

There's nothing inelegant about talking to several people at once in the early stages – this is how the platforms function. However, as connections deepen or you begin meeting people in person, managing multiple pursuits requires increasing thoughtfulness about everyone's time and emotions.

You're not obligated to provide detailed updates about your dating life to every match, but basic honesty matters. If you've started seeing someone seriously and want to focus on that connection, it's more respectful to send a brief message closing out other conversations than to simply ghost people you've been engaging with regularly.

The elegant approach treats all matches with basic courtesy regardless of your interest level. If someone isn't right for you, a simple "I don't think we're a match, but I wish you well" allows them to move on rather than wondering why you disappeared. You don't owe extensive explanation, but basic acknowledgment reflects well on you.

The Deeper Principles

Success with dating apps ultimately comes down to the same principles that create elegance in every other area of life: self-awareness, appropriate boundaries, genuine authenticity, and the confidence to be selective about what you accept.

Dating apps are simply tools—neutral mechanisms that reflect how you choose to use them. Approached with the same intention and grace you bring to professional networking or social gatherings, they can facilitate genuine connection. Approached with desperation, cynicism, or willingness to compromise your standards, they amplify those qualities instead.

The goal isn't perfection in your profile or flawless execution of every conversation. It's bringing your authentic self to the process while maintaining the boundaries and self-respect that define elegance in every context. When you achieve that balance, you're far more likely to attract connections that actually align with who you are and what you're seeking.

Upcoming Events
NYC IN-PERSON TRAINING

FRIDAY 20 FEBRUARY, 2026

12:30PM - 2:30PM Social Etiquette
3:00PM - 5:00PM Romantic Body Language

SATURDAY 21 FEBRUARY, 2026

10:00PM - 12:00PM Heels Class Foundational
12:30PM - 2:30PM Romantic Body Language

Olga’s Tips
Elegance Tip of the week

Olga’s Recommendations
The Foundation of Self-Knowledge

Yes, creating an appealing profile and choosing flattering photos matters, but none of that ensures genuine connection if you haven't done the deeper work of understanding what you truly want and deserve.

I recommend the book "Attached" by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller, which explores attachment theory and helps you understand your relationship patterns. This isn't about perfecting yourself before dating; it's about approaching connection from a place of self-awareness rather than desperation or performance.

Before crafting your next profile or accepting another invitation, spend time articulating what actually matters to you in partnership. Journal about past relationships: what patterns emerge? Where did you compromise your boundaries? When did you feel most authentically yourself? This clarity becomes your compass, ensuring that every swipe and every conversation moves you toward connection that actually serves you rather than simply filling time or validating your worth.

TEFAF
The Art of Refined Appreciation

TEFAF stands as the world's leading art and antiques fair, showcase of seven thousand years of art history. Running from March 14 – 19 in Maastricht and May 15 – 19 in New York, this prestigious event brings together the world's most distinguished dealers presenting everything from ancient artifacts to contemporary masterpieces, Old Master paintings to museum-quality jewelry.

Whether you're an established collector or simply cultivating your appreciation for fine art and antiques, TEFAF offers an extraordinary opportunity to witness exceptional craftsmanship, understand market trends, and immerse yourself in the kind of cultural refinement that shapes sophisticated taste and informed collecting.

March 14 - 19, Maastricht & May 15 -19, New York

tefaf.com

Game
The Elegance Game

In the following week, we will share the answer to this question. Click the answer that you think is right.